Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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