you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
