last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
