just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
