38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you would pick up someone in the library
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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