Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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