i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
