I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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