It's Friday. Sex?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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