worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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