i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
