me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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