Hippo gnu deer
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
