I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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