Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
