I puked a lego.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
