Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
