I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
