How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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