Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
