Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
