I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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