I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
