id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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