either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
