Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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