So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
