She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
