From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
