actually, I'm a sock model
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
