and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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