I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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