youre lurking in front of me
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
