i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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