We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
