I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
