I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
