when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
