dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
