i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
