you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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