isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
