She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
