i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
