I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
