so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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