I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am one with the molecules
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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