i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
