No stitches, just platelets and will power
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
