Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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